now that i've found my cool, let me blog properly w/o profanities.

got another template for my blog yday and i think it's makin me look as tho i'm one of those rebellious, jaded, school's-so-and-pointless baddiebaddies. well, mebbe i am. school doesn't suck, really. s'just boring. and tho i dun want my blog to look like i'm all about hating school, i cudn't resist the colors.

went to 1u with mi, grace and my cousins. fiona had free movie passes so we thought she'd drop me off with the kids at the cinema. shrek 2 was sold out so we bought tickets for confessions of a teenage drama queen instead. we cudn't use the movie passes coz there wasn't a (*) behind the "queen".

walked around wif mi and grace before the movie while my cousins went shopping. got peeved wif mi and grace coz they were being so jaded and whiny. they're only 10 for goodness' sake, where'd they get the idea that it's kewl to be like that? kids nowadays. i would've smacked them both if i didn't think i had to be a good christian so i can reflect Jesus' love. instead, i was really patient about everything and even bought them both hats from hinode to keep them from complaining.

confessions of a teenage drama queen wasn't that good, but they loved it anyway. u noe sth, after watchin so many american female teenage actors, i've come to realise that, surprise surprise, i'm slimmer than most of them. i'm definitely slimmer than lindsay lohan, if not as tall. so i think that if i actually had the money, time and patience to bother with dressing up as outrageously as they do, i'd look better too. very conceited of me, i noe, but i feel frank today.

mum can be really detestable at times. u would expect that after telling ur daughter that she can't go to some party bcoz she might get raped she'd be really sulky and not want to talk to you for some time until she's managed to convince herself that the party wasn't worth going to anyway, but my mum... she's gotta get herself a clue.

told her that i need to be in skewl tml to practise the school anniversary drama for CF and she was all, "if you have to go to school every single day to practise for this drama like you did last time you'd better tell them you can't make it. you know, you must learn how to say no. when ppl ask you to do a favor for them, you must think of yourself also. when ppl ask you to do a favor for them, you have a choice to say no. if you have to go to school everyday to practise you won't have time to study and you'll mess up your exams and you'll start blaming drama practises again and i don't want that... blablablablablabla."

if i were more daring and not a christian i think i'd slam the keyboard unto the floor and make sure it'd crack in half. she can be such a WITCH. in all my 15 years, i have heard no words of encouragement, no words of praise, no words of love, no words of gratitude, no words of inspiration and no words of comfort. sure, you provide me food, you provide me a home, you provide me clothes and education. but, WOMAN, you don't give a crap about my dreams nor my achievements. all you want is my report card to overflow with A's so that you can go jabber to all your friends in the pasar pagi about how smart and responsible your eldest daughter is and how she's going to get a scholarship to UM.

when i give her presents, she doesn't thank me; when eunice gives her presents, she goes hugging and telling her that she's the best daughter she has; when i win/join a competition, she tells me not to join anymore in future coz i'm only wasting my time on unconstructive things; when i think i should finally learn to be more dedicated to at least ONE activity in school, she says i can't stay back after school coz i should be home STUDYING; when that piece of rubber fell off my G-shock, she tells me it serves me right; when i fall sick, she tells me very sarcastically to eat more fried food.

i feel possessed, writing like this. i noe u're not sposed to speak a word against ur mother, but i need to vent. if i keep all this inside of me i'll be moody for another 2 weeks and i promise you i won't do any studying or any other constructive activity then. God forgive me. mebbe after the exams, i'll read this blog again and delete it in remorse.

i don't want to hate my parents. but sumtimes they piss me off so much. mum wouldn't let me go to suan aik's party tonight. but after some persuasion she told me to ask dad. which i couldn't do until i got home from 1u just 10 minutes ago coz he was sleeping his life away. he sed i could go. mum sed she wudn't fetch me. dad refuses to get up from the bed. so i can't go. wut kinda fuck is this?

i dun get to go out, i dun get to go to parties, i can't go to concerts, i can't stay back after school every too often, i can't join too many competitions, i can't talk on the phone too much, i can't sms too much, i can't do bloody shit. i say, once again,
WHAT THE FUCK?

sure, there're crazy ppl out there. sure, they'll slice you into a few hundred thousand million itty bitty pieces and scatter you from one end of the peninsula to the other after kidnapping, beating, doping and raping you. but is it POSSIBLE to meet one of these ppl every single time i go out? or stay back after school? or if i take hop a ride with LI EN'S FREAKING COUSIN BROTHER to church?

sometimes. just sometimes. i hate being my parents' daughter.

just testing...

sum stuff i've meant to blog about only i keep forgettin or haven't had the chance to:

1. cussie's temper's been improvin alot. it's my fault that the router-modem's busted but he barely batted an eyelid when i told him. instead he spent all night yday trying to fix the problem so that we could go online again soon. his glasses got broken on fri and he didn't even raise his voice 1ce or get irritated that he had to go around half-blind for an entire day. i love him :) reli reli love him. a yr ago it wudnt be quite possible to say this. now... sumhow i see him in a diff light liao. like he's really a very good-hearted, if not misunderstood, person.

i feel sad sumtimes. in fact, alot of times. coz ppl in his tuition classes, ppl from his skewl, ppl anywhere just dun like him. they dun accept him. do u noe just how cruel humans are? you dun have to beat sumbody up or rape and murder sumbody to prove that. you just gotta see how ppl treat my lil bro who's taller than me now. just coz he scratches more than ppl, just coz he makes funny noises at times, just coz he laughs louder and more awkwardly than anybody else, just coz he's weird, he's a social outcast. ppl pick on him, bully him, complain about him, refuse to talk to him. he's got a heart bigger, softer and more loving than 70% of the ppl out in the real world, and nobody wants to be his friend.

there was this girl in my class during std5 and 6. nobody liked her. she was fat, hairy, wore pink plastic-rimmed glasses, hunch-backed, she talked funny, and worst of all, she was caught picking her nose and popping her nose-goo into her mouth like it was candy. nobody wanted to be caught talking to her. nobody dared to sit beside her in class. even teachers kept their distance from her. the only words ppl ever spoke to her were stuff along the lines of "get outta my way!", "you are such a freak", "why are you so GROSS?" and "keep away from me, you stupid *toot*".

liz and i felt so sorry for her in the end that in std6, even tho we didn't like her and did feel very repulsed, talked to her like we wud to nebody else, regarded her as a normal person. and u noe wut? i think we were the closest frenz she'd ever had.

i swear, if i ever come face to face to anybody who treats my lil bro the same way, i'll pull his balls out through his throat and send him straight to halifax.

2. felt very left out and depressed on thurs night. read the last book of SVH Senior Year and it was all about graduation. yes, yes i noe that i'm gettin all "femininny" and "bimbotic". 1st megan cabot, then sophie kinsella, now francine pascal. *rolls eyes at self* talked to cow and found that liz was going to be CF president. realised that nearly everybody i noe has a post. everybody but me. liz's CF president, zcui's Interact president, samantha's Interact vice president, bing's Interact I.U. director, caleen's cheerleadin captain, florence's gonna be Editor-in-Chief... and geez i dunno. we're all gonna be seniors so soon. i dun wanna be one. i dun wanna be in charge of nethin. i wanna stay small and young and flippant and nonchalant and irresponsible... i dun wanna grow up. and i think i'm thinkin too much.

3. spoilt the router-modem on thurs coz i went online in the middle of a huge storm and everything blacked out halfway. surfin by webbit now coz dad brought back the modem from the office. 4 modems in the house and we can only use 1. geez.

4. learnt 2 wonderful sayings from pastor/prophesier chris gabriel last saturday.

Whether you think you can or can't, you're right.
- Henry Ford

If you are a street sweeper, sweep the streets like Beethoven wrote music...
- I forgot.

they mean sooo much sumhow. i have this book about a woman who thought/knew she could do nethin. she decided to take the world's overpopulation problem into her own hands and came up with the most dangerous bioweapon in existence, which only targeted females. it's a damned chun book. mostly coz of how vividly the chracters were portrayed, and the concept of the story. get it from me :P i'll be more than happy to lend it to u. neway wut i wanna say is that i wanna be like that woman. i dun wanna kill the women of the world, but i wanna think/know that i can do nethin. absolutely anything. so damn it all, i'm going to be the best cartoonist, artist, singer, actor, writer, and public speaker i noe. all i need now is some discpline. and if i can't be the best, i shall still do my best. coz i noe my best will still be better than many ppl. yeah yeah, lanci. but i believe it.

this blog's freakin long. think it's been too long since i've poured my heart out properly.

liz got caught by loo c.c. on thursday for ponteng-ing on monday :P i was actually her accomplice (duh) but didn't get called to the discipline teacher coz i pay more attention than her during physics. or mebbe i'm just better at being pretentious hehe. liz was really indignant about it coz it wasn't even fun ponteng-ing that day. we spent 2 periods ++ in the block C toilet if you can believe it.

and after an interrogation wif loo c.c. and lim pek poh, it would seem that staying in the toilet waiting for her PMS-victimized pinafore to dry isn't a worthy excuse for pardoning her :P it was pretty stupid really. i was stuck in the toilet with her for over an hour keeping her company only by speaking really loudly in front of every other toilet-visitor and peering at her reflection thru the toilet tiles above her cubicle door. it felt like sth sophie kinsella or megan cabot might like to put into their stories.

ponteng-ed skewl for the first time in my life yday w/o my mum knowin and i guess it did feel pretty good. wasn't keen about it at first coz it meant that i would have to leave liz alone in skewl and she'd almost definitely freak at me. if our relationship wasn't bordering so dangerously close to a break i dun think i wud've gone. ended up in perng's car early in the morning wif kell, cow and wei thian.

come to think of it, i had plenty of 1sts yday. 1st time i ponteng skewl, 1st time i learnt how to drive (SERIOUSLY!), 1st time i played snooker, 1st time i'd been to the giant Giant in kelana jaya, 1st time i'd ever talked to wei thian and found out that she's actually a pretty nice person :), 1st time i'd been on stakeout at perng's place. hehe if any of you are reading this, i had fun. thanks :)

it felt pretty good. i mean, i know how to drive now :P i still don't noe how to reverse and turn smoothly and how to park and lotsa stuff, but DAMN being behind the wheel rocks. i felt so... powerful. so cool, so grown up :P and MUAHAHA i'm 1 fast learner :P i'm sposedly better than cow and suan aik at driving hehe.

was sposed to sing in church today coz the winner has to perform 1 last time onstage for everybody. esther sed that when she went back to her office after the competition last week, everybody told her that i cud sing reli well and they wanted to hear me sing properly this time :P wut a joke. i felt abit jin coz i made gollum sing all the hardest parts last week and it was mostly luck that i pulled off the rest of amazing grace as well as i did. but i got a sore throat on tues so i had to pull out anyway coz my voice hasn't quite recovered :P i sound positively squeaky! gonna be onstage week after next instead. singing *shudders* wish me luck!

had installation for CF yday and liz is president :) she was so touched that she cried while readin the book Joshua made for her by way of congratulations hehe. i feel so proud of her. she really deserves it. when she's in heaven i noe God's gonna tell her, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." nobody can ever possibly be as committed, as loving, as patient, as determined, as loyal and as faithful a servant as she is.

ooh. more than 3 guys have offered to buy my iPAQ :P sadly not for good enuff prices *grin*

school is sooo boring and pointless. i learn more from tuition than i do from school. today wasn't that bad but from an academic point of view, it was utterly futile, senseless, meaningless, useless and inane. microsoft word's choice of words, not mine.

yday i realised how much sleep i need to catch up on. went to tuition right after school and didn't get home till 6pm and by then i was literally drooping with fatique. bathed, crawled into bed and after a vague conversation wif cow, died in my sleep till 8.30pm. missed dinner so i ate bread instead.

u noe, it's not so much that i sleep really late everyday, it's an accumulation of sleeping after 11pm every night and waking up at 6am every morning. and not eating enuff good food. dun think i've ever felt as unhealthy before as i did yday. without being really sick, i mean. everytime i looked into the mirror, i saw a pair of huge dark bags pulling away under my eyes. i had an impending sore throat and a throbbin head and i couldn't walk without draggin my feet because i was so so so tired.

even mum complains that i'm becoming pucat. i really need to take better care of myself.

been spending all day tinkering around wif the iPAQ. can't say it's nethin special except for all the different bible versions loaded. if i weren't so fond of books i wudn't need a bible anymore :P had alot of trouble wif the stylus at 1 point coz nth i touched wif it on the screen worked. and when i copied some files over from my com the memory card thing was nearly entirely used up. talk about not being tech-savvy.

i can't use any of the images i have as a bg either coz the color becomes really ugly and alot of the time it doesn't fill the screen properly and all you can see is part of somebody's big head or sth. and carrying it around is gonna be a problem unless i get a nice waist-bag thing or sth just as handy but cool. mm. i think i'm complaining when i shouldn't be. so i'll stop.

i won :) hehe but i guess i don't feel as happy about owning an iPac as i spose i shud be. i mean, wut am i gonna do wif an iPac? mum suggests selling it and i think she does have a point, but it is hard to let go of your first prize :P

everybody came today except tian an and yu xuan, and even then it wasn't their faults they couldn't come. kelly even lent me her good-luck charm doggy hehe :) thank u so much! it really did work after all, hm? hehe.

think wut i'm really happy about is that i didn't screw up. and that i feel as tho i belong onstage sumhow :) i've nvr been onstage so often in 3 months than for the rest of my life put together and sumhow i feel as tho i've found... it. wut i'm meant to do. wut i'm meant to be good in. u noe? :P

God bless all of you who were there for me: be it physically or spiritually :) thank you so much for giving me all ur support and encouragement. u guys are really priceless and (ok, this is really corny) i love you all so much! hehe :P

would like to blog about my really weirded costume and about how liz and i panicked and she tied my tie upside-down so that it was only 6 inches long. but i'm pooped :P went to 1u and walked till my legs ached. din buy much 'cept for a couple of pens and a pair of bunny-socks tho.

ooh... my housemate died :( kak insists that it's my fault coz i kept jesting about him being dead. but he always did look quite dead to me :( i wish there were an animal heaven or sth. then i'd noe he'd have a chance to go there. but i think animals are sposed to just cease existing coz liz sez they have no souls :( it's sad.

i'm in that mood. just got off the phone and had the most blatantly sohai conversation wif cow ever :P i nvr knew i could pull off a bitchy negro (or african american, if that's the politically correct term) slang as well i did just now. damn i had fun

edited wey yew yday and to follow cow's words, i have transformed him from a regular secondary school student into a macho hitman wif bulging abs. hehe, inside joke. my things-to-do list looked like this on tuesday:

1. edit wey yew
2. write john's mistress lala
3. write mr chan
4. make rubbish
5. memorise gollum

or in other words :P

1. edit wey yew's article on the MSSD basketball championship
2. write an article on john's mistress's fethism with our school canteen's lala
3. write an article on mr chan's retiring this nov
4. make papier mache rubbish for the CF notice board
5. i think u already noe :P

hehe i love microsoft word u noe? s'like when i have a word in mind but i can't think of it i'll just use the thesaurus. or if i've already repeated a word in front i just hit shift+F7 and look up more words with similiar meanings. i love it! you get to learn so much this way hehe. and make ur article sound chun too damn i love these corny emots *grin*

found out today on the bus that the little orphan girls are sisters. and even tho they look indian they have chinese names. weird :) they're really sweet. when i smiled at them they actually smiled back. i wonder wut their life is like.

thought my little housemate was dead today when i saw his head sticking out further than usual and his eyes closed while lying still as the dead. went running to my kakak yelling "kak! itu tortoise sudah mati ar?!" like i have done nearly everyday ever since he's taken up residence on the back-kitchen table. kakak insisted that he "belum mati" and that if i keep going on and on about how he "lihat macam mati" practically everyday he will "mati" one day and then mi will kill me.

forgot it was jane's bday today and nearly freaked out. thank God liz remembered and brought presents to share heh. will have to give my share on monday :P

hm. cant remember much to blog about except that school is getting increasingly pointless with each passing day and if i had more guts and less conscience i'd find a nice comfy place to go to and sleep after the bus drops me off everyday.

i haven't finished this book yet but damn it is funny :P my ayi has been giving me odd looks all night and eunice keeps asking me what am i laughing about. you noe, it isn't fair. why should funny but insubstantial books be so popular? ppl just dun appreciate intelligent stuff anymore (or in my defense, just not as much). sophie kinsella (is that her name?) seems to be the rapidly surfacing darling author among the girls in our skewl. or among the girls in my form anyway. she's like the new Sweet Valley thing. the only diff is that she uses much more outright wit and most of the humour is adult. i mean, seriously, what does the line "i don't even know if i have any G-spots!" say to you?

the NIE deadline is 27 days away, not counting 2 weeks of holiday in between. it's incredibly inspiring to noe that you only have 13 days to complete the design of the masthead and the pizza hut advertisement, assign, finish, receive and edit all the articles and pictures, finalise the layout, get it printed, and hand it up, u noe? if only everybody felt that way.

been feeling very poor lately. there's only RM20 left of my angpau savings and it hasn't even been half a yr yet. cus gets more pocket money than i do and just today, i realised that i've lost/spoilt 2 expensive ink pens, my ruler and my faithful G-shock. i've bought so many discounted watches but this is the one i wear 99.99% of the time. it's been with me for 6 yrs now. it's gotten all grotty and the linings are all caked with mud over the years, and now a great big piece of the rubber around the face has torn and fallen off. my dad brought it back from black forest, germany and he claims it costs over RM1000. and he gave it to me. 6 years. and now it's ... 1/2 decaptitated? i cried.

don't you dare call me stupid. or silly. or childish. bcoz i swear if i find out i'll 1/2 decapitate you too.

i feel lucky. ANewFall is allegedly one of the kewlest bands in malaysia and just yday i got to talk to 2 of its members :P and i had fun talkin to them too. adam and azlan are brothers and very amiably funny ppl. they can actually put up wif my crap. pms really screws u up, u noe? i was in one of those moods yday nite. actually went proclaimin that "i've read of guys like you before in the newspaper. you bluff young girls over the internet, conspire to kidnap, rape, kill them and then scatter their bodyparts all over malaysia."

i dunno how they put up wif me :P the impression they have of me now is of a weird, talkative 15++ yr old girl who thinks she's an alien and has a fethism wif spotting rapists. hehe, i had fun

there was a guest speaker from australia in church today, but i nvr did catch his name. pastor joshua called him Chris i think. he's a prophesier, and a good speaker. then again, most ppl from overseas seem to be good speakers.

(pastor matt heins from last yr's camp was one of the best speakers i've ever heard in my life. he'd win a public speakin tournament hands down, no contest. smart, funny, charismatic, lively and good lookin to boot :P who wudn't listen to him?)

he had an outer calling after his sermon for those who wanted to do sth for God and make a difference. i didn't raise my hand but i followed cow, liz and tian an out. he prophesied over some ppl he picked out from the crowd. and i was one of them. i was so suprised when i felt his hand on my shoulder that my eyes nearly flew open. he spoke to me as tho God was tellin him wut to tell me. he sed i'd been rejected as a child and have a few problems wif my family now and then. that God loves me very very much and has placed an anointing upon my life.

i am going to be a worship leader and am talented wif instruments, a keyboard, he sed. he sed i am going to write many songs of my own. he sed many things but i only remember half of them. esther sez everybody he prophesied over will get a tape of their specific prophesy and i'll get mine next week, so that's a good thing. i dunno how much of wut he sed was true... but i'm willing to give it a go i spose. he told suan aik that he was going to be a leader and cow that he was going to be a talented skateboarder or surfer (bwahahhaha).

cow's dad sent me home and i was so nervous and awkward that i kept nattering on an on to jian sheng and suan aik in the backseat. i talk too much. i wonder wut his dad thinks now.

mmmmmz... i'm besottedly happy and flattered :P ppl from la salle, seafield and subang utama think i'm hot coz they saw me at the drama. i think i look good in cheongsams after all.

the articles our 'reporters' have been handing in are horrendous. nightmarish. ridiculous. tedious. grammatically wrong. un-news-like. headache-inspiring. and it is liz's and my job to edit them. i've only gone through half of huey bing's Mother Daughter's Day article and already i have a headache. before this, i always had to help pui mun wif her RPG character. the moderator of the forum half-threatened to ban her from RPGing bcoz of her appalling english. so you would think that after editing so much abysmal language i would be used to it and not be this condescending, but i'm not. God help me.

we interviewed John's Mistress in amcorp today and they were sooo nice. i can't believe the disciplinary board threw them out on I.U. day. they're alot more nicer and mature than the ppl u find in our skewl. then again, it could be bcoz they thought we were from The Star Education Paper at 1st and not some amateur kids struggling to put together an article on bands for their pathetic little class newspaper. the misunderstanding wasn't intentional, i promise :P and they knew we were students from the moment they saw me in uniform anyway (ewgh! stupid pinafore).

liz and i floundered about on the questions coz we weren't sure whut to ask. whut DO you ask? it seems everything you ask about obtains a "that depends" answer. it's no wonder the newspapers and magazines jockey about all the bad stuff. it's so much more interesting and easy to write about.

woke up this morning in light of a little misadventure wif PMS. won't go into detail, but i'll say this much: i felt incredibly sticky for the rest of the morning.

liz kept singing "Hullo! Hullo! Hullo! Hullo and how are you?" to the mexican hat dance ringtone melody. in fact she sang it so often that i caught on to it and was exasperatingly (to everybody else :P) corny all morning. sang everything i wanted to say to the same tune all throughout class until liz made me give her a quote for the Edufair article. i wonder why is it that u can't sing sth that sumbody's going to quote in an article.

i felt so corny that i wrote utter crap for the Sedia Berkhidmat karangan thing (which is for Hari Ulang Tahun, apparently). pn kauthar sed it didn't need to be a karangan so i wrote a (haha!) pantun. i'm quite proud of it or as proud as you can be of a well-constructed (master)piece of crap. some lines actually rhyme hehe! and bcoz my tuition teacher always seems to think includin dearly beloved Dr. Mahathir somewhere makes a good karangan even better, i threw him into my pantun for good measure. enjoy:

Berkhidmat! Berkhidmat! Berkhidmat!
Apakah dia berkhidmat?
Berkhidmat adalah 'to serve',
ataupun 'samurai' dalam bahasa Jepun.
Kita harus sedia berkhidmat,
kerana berkhidmat bagus!
Remaja pada masa kini,
terlalu mementingkan diri.
Ini tidak baik!
Kita harus berkhidmat!
Kita akan membentuk masyarakat Malaysia
pada masa depan!
Jika kita tidak berkhidmat,
Dr. Mahathir akan mengguling dalam kuburnya
akibat keruntuhan akhlak kita.
Oleh itu,
kita harus sedia berkhidmat!

was tempted to add terimah kasih at the end :P liz sed dr. mahathir "isn't dead yet!" but i told her i was depicting the times in the future when he is dead and we are all grown up. muahahhaha :P

think this blog's gone on a bit too long for my liking, but i've mentioned my housemate so many times and nobody knows him yet. or, at least, i think it is a him. he's a little terrapin (tortoise) mi and her frenz found on her canteen floor. unbelievable. the little thing actually survived the tumult of primary skewl childrens' feet. the even more unbelievable thing is that grace put him into her pocket and took him home. that was last month.

just last week she brought the terrapin to our house in her pocket (AGAIN!). apparently, mi and grace are sposed to take turns keeping him as a pet. he paddles about unsuccessfully in the shallow water we pour into the food container we keep him in now. he seems quite healthy, if not unlively and unmoving :P i like lookin at the little guy. it makes me happy sumhow. now, i wonder how i can find an inanimate animal as cute as all that.

mm... i'm happy. i'm content. mum didn't say nethin much after all :) we weren't allowed to stay upstairs so we went down to watch tv in the hall instead. mi joined us hehe. think she's gotten quite used to watchin us snuggle together already :P yee... stuff like this doesn't get to happen often enuff.

i realised today on the way home that my bus sends a couple of orphans "home" from their school. i used to think that it was at a nursery/baby-sittin place that my driver dropped the 2 little girls off everyday, but today, a woman came from the house to pay my driver RM390; RM30 per child. i saw coz i was sittin right behind the driver. a nursery wouldn't have to do that. i looked at the place, old and unfurnished, saw a large shelf full of white school shoes and a couple of very young children in the doorway... and everything just snapped into place and made sense.

i'd sat beside one of the orphans once. neither of them are chinese. this one, i think, is an indian. she is thin, has straight hair down to her neck and very big eyes. u noe, it hurts to see big eyes like those on a kid. she didn't look sad or unhappy. not even discontent. in fact, the 1st time i looked at her and thought how big her eyes were, she smiled at me. uncertainly, shyly. i didn't noe then that she was an orphan. i thought she must have very loving parents to have eyes like those: so big, so bright and clear, so full of childlike love and wonder. now i think i noe better.

i'm going to make sure i give them sth sumday. as an early or belated present or sth. it's not that i do things like this all the time, i don't. but this time i just want to. call it intuition. a calling. an urge. sth. i dunno. i guess it's coz they are His children too, and i want them to noe that. if they don't noe yet about how much He loves them then i want them to noe it thru me.

pls dun think i'm a prat.

liz had a hard time today. and yday i guess. so far, our bio, phys, addmath and chinese teachers have told her off. more than 1 of them told her that if she wasn't interested in the class and would rather sleep, she'd be better off transferred to an art class where some other teachers will tolerate her. addmath teacher wants her to stay back every thrusday now for a remedy class to help her poor grade. she detests this very imminently.

--intermission--

BLAragh!!!!!!!!! can't a girl blog in peace anymore?! i am once again interrupted by him. Him. HIM. HIM! i'm having a heart attack. nobody expects cows to just pop up on their doorsteps like that. i'm going to die. what if mum finds out?! he's in the shower. i'm on the com. he can't do this to me! he can't just pop up like that! i'm going to die.

ha. this is amusing. our astro is spoilt :P every channel we turn to tells us that it isn't included in our subscription. according to cus and dad (the most astro-dependent members of the wong family), we have all been deprived (unknowingly, in my case) of our usual 77 sources of entertainment thru astro. how tragic :P it would seem that neither of them can survive w/o the square box or me. bcoz i am, and i quote: "the most intelligent and efficient and articulate" member of the wong family... i was delegated the task of calling up astro (quite an honour, really, if u dun consider that i've done this similiarily the last 101 times sth got spoilt) to ask them kindly whut the hell has gone wrong wif our astro, and more importantly, how the hell do we get our 77 channels back? the lady i was referred to was most kind. she informed me that my TV-remote-happy bro and dad will have their 77 channels back netime within the next 24 hours. haha. they are blessed with a daughter such as I.

bleh. i was intent on bloggin a looong one today but cow called 1/2way. lost all mood liao :P i blame u, cow! *poke* kacau oni hehe.

anyway: happy birthday, kell! :P bet u had a lovely day! i hope u like the book :) it's definitely one of the most succinct and touching books i've ever read. it puts christianity in a perspective like no other book i've read has. it gets a 8/10. gonna get another 2 copies :P thank you, tian an, for the fantastic recommendation! max lucado definitely rocks some ass.

another kewl book i've read recently would be The Devil Wears Prada but i wudnt say u can learn alot from it :P very insubstantial, but very very funny. author exaggerates like hell. i'd give it a 6.5/10 (i'm a critic). get the book :P or borrow it from ai wei. she has a whole waiting-list already but i'm sure she won't mind adding you :P

mmmz... had wut liz and i call a bra adventure today. this would be bra adventure #2 coz liz had the honor of having bra-adventure #1 last saturday night :P it wud be mean to blog of our bra-adventures w/o each other present to testify... so, nyaha! you don't get to hear them today :P

initially wanted to blog about mi, my new housemate, how much logaritma SUCKS and how i was stuck at tuition an hour early but cow's gone and ruined it all :P he sucks the novelty out of everything. tho i can't say i'm complainin God bless!

that was earlier. here's from yday and the day before.

my mum is funny. after she'd opened up the presents, mi came up to me and asked how much the earrings were. "where can tell 1?" i told her, but she insisted on knowin. "5 bucks." i sed. "oh, ok then you've just gone and wasted 5 bucks." she quipped cheerfully. upon askin "WHY?!", she sed: "mum sez they're ugly and she doesn't like metal earrings. oh and she sed you shud've written the date in the book, it's a bad habit not to." she left me absolutely fuming. i practically swore nvr to get presents for mum again after that.

but yday morning, she was exceptionally cheerful. she smiled during breakfast and was unusually amiable for that time in the morning (6am). then she asked me casually whether i thought the earrings would look good on her. "yeah..." i sed cautiously, wonderin where the conversation was leadin to. "i think they're pretty."

"ok la, then i'll wear them today." she sed. i decided to pray like crazy that they wudn't look bad on her. later in the afternoon i saw the earrings dangling from her ears. and they actually looked pretty :) and she really did seem happier. she didn't nag at all the whole day. so i think... she's the sort of person who doesn't do well expressing her emotions :P i think... mebbe... it's embarrassin for her in sum way to say thank you, i love it or have a nice day so she uses criticism as a defense mechanism. it is a huge comfort :)

yday was sooo fun. albeit going to the MPPJ library for nth and not being allowed to go into the library because of my (in)offensive pjk shorts. we all went to amcorp afterward for a lil shoppin and damn i've forgotten how fun it can be to go girly-shoppin :P liz and i went around the entire 1st floor just checkin out earrings, only to end up at the store we'd 1st stopped at and spent another 1/2 picking and choosing. cow left us for mcd's and came back an hour later to find us in the same spot picking and choosing over the same earrings :P he was bewildered. but we din expect him to appreciate the beauty of buying huge, dangly earrings at 3 for RM10 anyway :P

spent the rest of our time in skewl taking pictures wif his cam and it was so so so so so fun! liz and i've nvr had so many nice pictures taken consecutively before and we were manically happy :P can't wait till we get those pics printed. i finally have a pic of my two favorite ppl in the world!

mwaaaarghh... that's how i spose i sound like stretching and yawning. 4:44pm and i'm still in uniform. juz came down from chem and damn i dun quite remember being as lethargic as all that. not that the teacher was bad; he did quite a good job of holding the class's attention. he went on and on about women(bukan logam) and men(logam) and prostitutes(nitrat) and gigolos(kalium, natrium and ammonium) and "air duit" (sth i still hafnt managed to figure out) etc etc. i'm pretty sure the entire class was enraptured but i could barely keep my eyes open wide enuff to make out the whiteboard. dun think there's much chem between chem and muahzi.

because i have been too engrossed with berating my family and the day's events, i have forgotten entirely about yday, which isn't much to blog about neway. i am one of the 7 finalists that will be performing again on the 22nd. sounds good i guess, but the audience was highly demoralizing. everything they did sounded remarkably half-hearted and if it were not for liz's boldly individual "GO, KRYSTLE!" and the look on one of the judge's face (he was grinning away and shakin his head), i would have been very badly discouraged and prolly wud've fucked up there and then out of sheer disappointment.

even my friends weren't much use. zcui promised she'd try but she didn't make it nor give me a call. likewise with kento and everybody else except tian an and yu xuan. they alone called and msged to ask how i did. the only ppl who actually seemed genuinely happy for me was liz and her cousins: whom i barely noe well enuff to call friends. but wut are friends anyway, huh? ppl who dun turn up nor particularly give two shits? thank God for liz. cow was there for me but we didn't rub off well yday.

i am sorry. yday wasn't that bad but i'm in that mood right now. perhaps a couple of hours earlier i would've told about the utterly ridiculous movie i watched this morning about a bunch of girls who go about (sporting neon pink jumpsuits and wearing cheetah-spotted turnovers) singing about girl power and do justice to wildly humorous writing. perhaps a couple of hours earlier, i would've gladly done a review on what must be one of the most exaggeratedly funny stories i've ever read.

but not now. not today anyway. not while i feel this bitchy. God bless.

my family is debatably the most BORING bunch of personalities ever fated to be related to each other. ever. i'm none too pleased wif them right now. let me justify the former and the latter.

today's cus's bday and mother's day. any other averagely happy, fun-loving family would have gone out sumwhere to celebrate. cruise the malls mebbe. or just go sightseeing in the big family car. buy and exchange presents and all that. but in our case, going out to celebrate on a day worthy of celebration is like an oxymoron. why? bcoz since it is a day worthy of celebration, everybody else will be out celebrating and inexorably, the streets and malls will be packed like sardines in a tincan. consequently, a day worthy of going out to celebrate is simply not worth going out to celebrate. i ask you. does that make sense? coz it sure does to my mum.

dad, at least, made an effort (albeit its understated minimalism). he suggested taking us all out for bah kut teh in the evening: something we've been doing every fortnight or other without considering it a day worthy of celebration. liz, cui, cow and co. all get to go to fancy italian restaurants and all that, but holy shit my family's nvr even stepped thru the doorway of a fancy italian restaurant with all heads accounted for, not to mention pizza hut or possibly even burger king. wtf?!

i tried pleading with cus to suggest somewhere else to go for dinner to dad, but he refused to rack the ickle pool of grey matter which sits in that vast space between his ears for a name of a restaurant he might like. while i was seething away at his total hopelessness, mum thought he'd made a very wise choice. and because she knew he didn't like bah kut teh, subsequently decided for us all that we'd just stay home for dinner.

mi managed to escape all this. she's been in samantha's house ever since 2pm. i on the other hand, have witnessed all this and also have put up with helping a very non-commital and disparaging cus with his math problems for his exam tomorrow, under the command of the supreme She Who Must Be Obeyed.

have i not, by this time, fully justified the former? and the latter?

wrapped mum's presents yday: a christian book for mothers and the earrings. it's all lookin bright and beautiful with the pretty gold string i tied parcel-style around the wrapping, but i feel no... wanting to give it to her. she's nvr been kind and grateful about receiving presents. i have no presents for cus coz i don't noe nethin else he'd want except for some computer games which do not befit a proper bday present and a graphic card which i definitely cannot afford. a day worthy of celebrating indeed. God bless us all.

hehe. helped liz wif her new blog today. it's all pink and i feel pretty proud coz i did it in a matter of minutes *grin* again, it wasn't my work la. just helped her choose a template then modified it here and there. it wasn't really her choice to set up a blog but we didn't have much to do in front of the com today so i insisted la. it was fun hehe and she didn't mind as much as she would like me to believe. or at least, i'm pretty sure that she didn't la :P it won't be a very regular blog, she sez, coz her line is still konked; but seeing how irregular nearly everybody else is i don't see that it matters anyway.

ai wei and tian an lent me a couple of potentially engrossing books. can't wait to get started on them :P usually i wud regard it as a real treat, but in this case i don't think it's that good a thing coz 1ce i get sucked in i wun get any of my work done. sposed to work out my logaritma and quadratic equations this weekend. and mebbe absorb a little (just a little) sejarah. dun think it's much of a probability now.

discussed NIE today wif liz and things are gettin done. we've got the title of the paper and the ideas for the general layout already so now all we need are the articles and pictures. it feels good, being in charge :) you noe? you get to call the shots and pull rank and bring in the good stuff hehe. i love it. so far anyway.

went to amcorp today wif cow and got mum a pair of earrings :) the stuff there is soooooooo reasonable!

they were selling huge dangly earrings at 3 for 10bucks. damn it's so hard passing up a deal like that. it's so hard to resist that even tho u noe u'll probably nvr wear them coz they dun suit u, u still feel like buyin them anyway coz it's a deal you barely come by.

may's stuffed full of birthdays and reasons to buy presents it seems. cus's bday is on mother's day and mum's bday is on teacher's day. yday was yan yee's bday and tml's joshua's. i really need to get out more. need to get presents for guys. all i have in my current (rapidly shrinking) hoard are stuff girls would like.

tomorrow's gollum day and i haven't memorised the script yet. gotta get down to it later. gonna be wearing liz's langkawi dolphin shirt and checkered bermuda pants tml to get that un-fashionable look for gollum. keep ur fingers crossed for me! it's gonna be the big stage this time and i dunno i'm ready *shiver*

and cow, i'm sorry bout today, k? sorry if i miffed you off or nethin. really. *hugs*

i'm sick of tuition. mum is adamant that w/o tuition my results will continue plummeting down thru the gateways of hell. as a result, i now have tuition every single day of the week except sunday, saturday and friday. duznt sound that bad, but believe me it's bad enuff.

amended the gollum script and sent it off. adapted it so that gollum would not be looking clean, healthy, bald-less and fully-clothed w/o good reason.

spent the entire day in liz's absence. she went to KDU to watch the debate between our skewl and assunta (i think it was assunta), but hui shurn later told me that the debate was cancelled coz assunta backed out or sum such thing. so liz apparently dumped me for a non-existent debate.


bio, english and pjk teachers didn't come and consequently, half the morning was utterly pointless. it was even more pointless than usual coz liz wasn't there to chatter around wif so as to mollify the usual boredom we share. chem and chinese teachers barely taught nethin i cud absorb. and in the end the most useful thing i learnt today was how to calculate the gradient of a slope: sth i knew a month ago. have u, my likely unsympathetic reader, the friggiest idea how totally absolutely completely exceedingly extremely mind-nullingly BORING all that must have been? *spits in disdain*

i'm beginnin to speculate dat mebbe havin a best friend like liz is a bad influence coz after spending 90% of the time i have in skewl wif her, i've forgotten how to make frenz. i sat wif bing and the girls she normally hangs out wif durin the earlier hours of school, in hopes of mollification. i cudn't catch the flow of the conversation easily, cudn't make myself feel interested, and i cudn't even not bore myself. and yet, once upon a time i had more phone calls in a day than i cud count. *sniff* how pathetic.

spent my time after recess runnin about pretendin to be busy wif the NIE project. sadly to not much avail.

liz wun be comin to skewl again and likely, the only useful thing i will learn tomorrow will be geometrical co-ordinates. sth i also learnt a month ago. God help me.

muahahahhaha! do u see this?! *GRINZ* i'm so proud of myself. this isn't my work, but i made a few teeny amendments and that's enuff to make me proud hehe. i duno why there's a pop-up alert when i view my blog tho. s'kinda irritatin but just keep clickin "no" la. mebbe it's my com, but just in case u guys run into the same prob too.

hehe u noe, html doesn't seem to be that bad nemore. i'm gonna give it more of a go next time.

been so long since i last blogged
dat i cant remember all the things i've wanted to blog about.
think i'll just ramble on.

gotta submit script and music by tml
for this saturday's semifinals
or be disqualified.
dunno wut am i gonna do.
i can't dress up like gollum:
i dunno how.
i don't noe wut music wud be appropriate
nor do i noe where to get it.
i dunno wut other act i can/shud do.
so what AM i gonna do?!